


Surrender to Paranoia

by Henriwrites



Series: Belville Canon [1]
Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic (Video Game)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Domesticity, Gen, M/M, snapshot of their lives mid kotfe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-25 18:48:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30093507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Henriwrites/pseuds/Henriwrites
Summary: “I shouldn’t be making you think I’m going to leave at all. Not after everything you’ve done to get us to this point, to get me out.” The flush had returned to Theron’s cheeks and Bel steeled himself a little, forcing himself to swallow the instinct to put up barriers between them. A part of him remembered what it had been like, to be honest with people when he’d been young, and he grabbed at it again, for the reminder. “You deserve my commitment to this.”“After Revan...after all of this...I know you well enough to know you won’t leave when you’re needed.”After everything they've been through, it should be less of a surprise to Belville no matter what he chooses it's going to feel a little bit like a betrayal of something or someone. There's no way to please everyone, not even all of his own instincts and desires, but at the very least, there's a path of least resistance he needs to find.
Relationships: Imperial Agent | Cipher Nine/Theron Shan, Male Imperial Agent | Cipher Nine/Theron Shan
Series: Belville Canon [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2214297
Kudos: 2





	Surrender to Paranoia

**Author's Note:**

> This might just be a one-shot, and I've already posted it to tumblr, but I thought it might be a good thing to add into the series for Bel's canon run. This takes part mid kotfe, I'll sort of move things around as needed to keep it as chronological as possible, but this one won't require needing any other knowledge of them. Thanks for dropping by!

It was odd, having someone to fall into bed with. Even if they didn’t spend nearly as much time together as Bel craved. He’d long since worked the need for physical contact out of his system, and then Theron had shown up, and thoroughly ruined that. His team, aside from Lokin and Scorpio, had all been casually physical, and he had enjoyed the little of that he got. But it was always left at that, and it had been a long time since Bel had had someone who wanted his touch the way he wanted theirs.

It was stranger still to have someone who would still give him his space without needing to be asked. Before Intelligence, he had been used to that, from well-meaning family. But Theron did, and Bel only knew because he felt the bed shift as Theron sat, stripping down from the day. Gertrude shifted, nosing at Theron and he greeted her quietly. He didn’t roll over, just listened for a moment as Theron stood back up and went to the fresher, not bothering to turn the lights on and keeping the sink on low. There was enough shuffling to indicate he hadn't quite learned the layout of the Phantom yet, but Bel had been doing his best to try and spend his downtime inside the base and hadn’t expected him to. They couldn’t risk the Alliance thinking he wasn’t invested in the cause, or that he was ready to leave at any given moment. But the Phantom was...safer. Familiar. In a way, Odessen wasn’t yet. Someday, maybe. 

Theron joined him after a moment, but kept his back to Bel, and left space between them even in the small cot. He waited a moment longer until Theron had settled, and then rolled over, still leaving space between them. “You didn’t have to come out here.” 

“I know.” Theron rolled onto his back, the blankets shifting with his movements. “Do you want me to go?”

“No.” He reached out and caught Theron around the waist, pulling him closer. There was hesitation, stiffness, and then Bel curled around him, head on Theron’s chest and one leg tossed over his waist. Theron’s arms went around him, shuffling them over a little until they were in a safer position on the bed. Gertrude grumbled at them, standing and circling again and pushing their legs closer together as she chose to take up as much space as possible and push them back towards the edge of the bed. 

“Talk or sleep?”

“You need to sleep. It’s three in the morning, Theron. You were up at six yesterday.”

“You’re deflecting. I’ve gone a lot longer without sleep than that.”

He nodded a little and murmured a reassurance into Theron’s skin. “I’m aware.”

Theron left it at that, quiet, one hand rubbing up and down Bel’s spine gently. Bel followed his breath, matching Theron’s inhales and exhales with careful purpose. It was strangely soothing, with Theron between him and the door, his embrace protective and soft. “Go to sleep. I’m alright.”

Theron grumbled something into his hair that Bel couldn’t make out, but his breathing slowed, and he matched it until he fell into almost a meditative state and then to sleep.

He woke up to Theron shifting awkwardly and hauled him in tighter. His internal clock caught up after a moment. “‘S only been four hours.”

“Ya. Have a meeting with Lana in a bit.”

“Tell her to reschedule.” He yanked a little, pulling Theron in close enough that he could roll on top of him and press his face into Theron’s neck. Theron made half a noise as he did, grunting at him but let him have his way. “She’ll do it if you tell her I asked.”

“That’s because you have her wrapped around your finger, Bel.” Theron relaxed beneath him, and Bel grinned, kissing at his neck gently. It only took a few moments before Theron was nearly melting under him and Bel nipped at a tender spot gently, searching with his mouth. Theron grabbed at him almost immediately, growling and Bel grinned, shifting upward to kiss him gently. 

“What?”

“I am not going to meet Lana with hickies. I’ll never hear the end of it”

“Is that really your biggest concern? Somehow I don’t think she’ll be surprised...” He sat up slowly, stretching, and Theron joined him, sneaking in for another kiss as they rose. His optics were pressed into his hands gently and he engaged them, but flicked them up to rest in his hair. “Thank you.”

“Mhm. Still don’t mind if I use your stuff?”

“If I minded I would have said so by now. My clothes should fit you, don’t put on that pair you wore yesterday again, for goodness sake, Shan.”

Theron was uncharacteristically silent, and if Belville had counted his steps right, he was only in the doorway of the fresher. “Theron…”

“You...want me to wear your clothes?”

“I want you not to smell during our briefings. I have to stand next to you.”

He still hadn’t moved, and Belville moved him aside bodily so he could squeeze past. “About...that…”

“What?”

“I’ve already...put some clothes away in here. In case of emergencies.” Theron moved into the room slowly, joining Belville at the sink. It would have been nice to take a shower and revel in each other's company for a little while longer, but Bel hadn’t yet gotten out of the habit of quick, efficient routines, routines he could do away with at a moment's notice during emergencies. It seemed Theron had kept the same habits. 

“Did you? When?”

“I- well actually I never took them out.”

“Never took them- explain.”

He could almost hear Theron flushing and flipped his optics down so he could see it, grinning when Theron cleared his throat loudly and turned away. “After I got a hold of your ship it was...convenient. To use it for a base of operations.”

“You took over my ship.”

“I left everything where I found it!”

“That much was obvious.” He ran a comb through his hair quickly, sliding wax through the strands until it wasn’t going to get tangled in his implants. “I would have known. I didn’t notice that you left your clothes in my closet though, which was sloppy.”

“They’re...not in your closet. I put all my things in the crew quarters. I...never actually slept in here?”

“You- oh.” He caught Theron about the waist, reeled him in, and kissed him gently. “You can move your things in here now if you want.”

“That sounds a lot like a promise that you won’t exfil without me.”

He paused for a moment, reaching up to play with Theron’s hair for a few long moments, fingers in the curls, memorizing the texture and twist. “I suppose it is. Although I feel I would have gotten a few angry messages if I exfiled with your things without knowing it.”

“Probably a few.” Theron relaxed against him for a few moments, nuzzling up under Belville’s chin. “Sorry, should have told you sooner, but I guess I hoped if you planned to leave you’d give me a heads up.”

“I would have asked you to come with me. But I have no plans to leave. And I think Lana would drag me back by the scruff of the neck if I did.” He pressed a kiss down into Theron’s hair. “Did you think I would?”

“It crossed my mind. I wouldn’t blame you. If anyone deserves to disappear and retire, it’s you.” Theron pulled back a little, moving to take over the mirror again and brush his teeth. 

Bel paused for a long moment, fists balling at his side. “I...won’t. I...apologize, for making you think that.”

“No, I-” Theron spit into the sink quickly and shook his head. “I’d be more concerned if you didn’t have contingencies in place if things went sideways. Nice to be included in them, though.”

“I shouldn’t be making you think I’m going to leave at all. Not after everything you’ve done to get us to this point, to get me out.” The flush had returned to Theron’s cheeks and Bel steeled himself a little, forcing himself to swallow the instinct to put up barriers between them. A part of him remembered what it had been like, to be honest with people when he’d been young, and he grabbed at it again, for the reminder. “You deserve my commitment to this.”

“After Revan...after all of this...I know you well enough to know you won’t leave when you’re needed.”

“You thought I was ready to leave, that’s why you came here last night.”

“You’re reading into that a bit much.” Theron was quiet for a moment, before moving to get his clothes from the crew quarters, trusting Bel to follow, and he did, leaning in the doorway as he watched Theron change, saving a brief moment for appreciation. “I know the instinct as well as you do. And it’s...comforting to know you haven’t lost it either. But I wanted to see if there was anything you needed from me. I don’t imagine any of this has been easy, and you’ve been putting on a pretty steady face about it all.”

“Would it surprise you to know that’s just how I deal with things?”

“Suppose not.” They both finished gearing up quickly, weapons and armour taking up a comforting, predictable weight. Gertrude stretched on the bed, yawning as Bel gave her the attention she deserved. She jumped down and stepped up to his side after thoroughly messing up the blankets, as comforting of a weight and presence as anything else. He would always depend on her more than anything or anyone else. “Speaking of last night…?”

“Security.”

“Got it. Do you want to go over the base specs and shifts?”

“No. Just needed a night somewhere familiar.” Theron offered his arm as they reached the ramp, the action almost natural as Bel threaded his hand into Theron’s elbow. “Thank you, though, for coming to find me. It was...nice, to have someone else there.”

“Anytime you need me. Come on, I’m three minutes late now, Lana’s going to have our heads.”


End file.
